To Therapy Or Not To Therapy ~ Is Therapy Worth It? By: Jennifer Kate

(Editor’s Note: The following post contains sensitive topics. If you need help here’s the Suicide Hotline and the Number: 988)

Hey guys, I'm back with another blog, but like my coming-out blog that I wrote, this one has a more personal feel, which, if I'm being honest, I'm excited about. In this blog, I will be taking you guys through what therapy feels like and what you may experience. Before we go on, I must disclose that everyone's experience will differ. Everyone is different, and everyone has a different story to tell. Let me quickly introduce myself to those of you who are new here. My name is Jennifer Kate. I'm a producer for Fruity Serial here on the Empty The Bench Podcast Network.

Let me start by telling you guys a little about my story of how I got to this point of needing therapy, the thought process that went into the choice to go to therapy, and what the process of going to therapy is like. My story is a little unique in that this is my 3rd attempt at therapy, and each time after a few weeks, I thought I was ok and stopped going to go through the same vicious cycle of not being ok again. This Route to therapy was a bit different than my other two attempts i went in there with a plan to talk about my trauma in hopes of being able to come to terms with it more and understand it. This time it took a lot more pushing from my friends to get myself help after my behavior was abnormal and not what it usually is. I was more uptight, stressed out, and on edge, unlike me. Going into therapy over the last three weeks has been a little scary right before my virtual appointments. I get pretty nervous, but I'm cool as a cucumber once the appointment starts. As someone who has dealt with many personal issues in the past, I always knew therapy was a good outlet, but choosing to go was something I struggled with for quite some time. Once, I decided it because I knew it would help me with my issues and help me be a little more calm and relaxed.

Let's talk a bit about what therapy is like once you decide to start therapy. You will first go to the therapist's office or get a video call, depending on whether it is in person or online. For me personally, mine is a Facetime call. Then you will meet the therapist. Therapists can be male or female, just like any other occupation. My therapist is a female cause that's just what I'm more comfortable with, but again that's just my take. Then you will start talking to them about whatever you need to talk about or feel out. I'm going to therapy to help me deal with trauma, stress, and anxiety. Therapy has been an excellent tool for me to have an outlet to have a private conversation that I know can't be made fun of or judged, and it's a safe space for me to communicate with someone trained to handle these types of issues.

Let me roll it back for you guys and explain a little more about my situation. So before I started going to therapy, my friends noticed I wasn't behaving like myself; for example, Nick, who, if you don't know him, is the creator of the Empty The Bench Podcast Network and Co-Host of the namesake show. Nick and I would kind of butt heads, to put it lightly, and I got into trouble by going against what he told me to do, and I was angry and not listening or following directions. Also, my partner Hank, who you

all know, is now the new blog editor for Empty The Bench and is also the co-host of Hitting For The Cycle. I noticed I was going off on him for absolutely no reason, even when he didn't do anything to deserve it. I had what I like to call a short leash when it came to my anger or popping off. I then made a very dumb mistake which I will regret for the rest of my life, and that mistake was something I wish I could walk back to, but it's far too late. I told Nick and Hank I wanted to end my life which was wrong. I was stressed out, and I hit what I call a mental wall. I realized that I misspoke, which I should not say unless necessary, and I wish I could take that back. But I was at a point in my life where I hit rock bottom, and I knew from that point that moment was a silent cry for help. From that point forward, I needed professional help because I knew I couldn't continue on a path the way I was. Also, in the past, I have gone through my fair share of heartbreak regarding relationships. I also went through some stuff with some friends.

To sum up this very long blog, I want to say don't let anyone negatively influence you to get therapy; make that choice because it's what's best for you and take a small lesson from me and the things I have learned from going to treatment for only a short time. Do what's best for you, and don't be afraid to show emotion or be yourself. I know that can be scary for someone who very much is at the height of struggling with this. It's a real fear as you start to allow yourself to open up. When in therapy, don't forget to keep open and truthful because you're doing this to help yourself because you know it's the correct thing to do. Just remember one thing, and that is it's ok not to be ok. Also, remember therapy is for you. The therapist supports and handles your issues because they want to help you.

Thank you so much for reading this personal yet authentic blog, and I will catch you guys in the next blog.