Are the Bruins the Hockey equivalent of the ‘90s Braves? By Hank Indictor

The 2022-23 Boston Bruins finished with 65 wins and 135 points -- both of which are records in what was the most dominant regular season in recent memory. But here’s the kicker: this particular squad will only be remembered for the wrong reasons like the 2019 Tampa Bay Lightning. And what’s worse is that they blew a 3-1 lead to a Florida Panthers team that was vastly inferior and didn’t even make it past the first round!

“But Hank,” you say, “the Lightning found a way to redeem themselves and win back-to-back cups!” Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this may have been the Bruins’ last great shot at a title (at least with this core). A lot of their core isn’t getting any younger, and they will be dealing with a litany of uncertainties heading into the off-season. Heck, they’re lucky they found a way to extend David Pasternak before the season ended!

Oh, but don’t worry, it only gets worse from here. Look at the talent they’ve had over the past 15+ years: You’ve got current guys like Patrice Bergeron, David Pasternak, Charlie McAvoy, Brad Marchand and David Krejci to name a few. And in the past, they had Zdeno Chara, Milan Lucic, Tuukka Rask and Tyler Seguin (who they moronically traded for Loui Eriksson). Fifteen years of talent and regular-season success and only one Cup to show for it. Sound familiar? Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller?

Oh yeah, that’s practically similar to the Atlanta Braves from the ’90s and into the mid-2000s. That team also had a plethora of Hall of Famers or should be HOFers (What are you waiting for voters? Give Andruw Jones a plaque already. Took you long enough to give one to the Crime Dog!!) And much like the Bruins, that team also choked away many a potential title, so much so that with all that playoff failure, it’s easy to forget that each of these teams at least earned one title!

And so this begs the question: How are we going to remember the Bruins of the 2010s up until now? Do we praise them for winning a title? Or do we remember them more for what they didn’t do?

If I were writing this blog shortly after 2011, I would’ve put my Rangers fan goggles/anti-Bruins bias aside and talked about what a feel-good story they were. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t like their physical style of play; this was a team that had a redemption story. Just one year prior they became only the third team in NHL history to be reverse-swept. The year before that, they lost a heartbreaking Game 7 in Overtime to a 6th-seeded Carolina Hurricanes squad. The 2011 revenge tour was quite an impressive run, too, as it included a hard-fought 7-game series win over the Rival Habs, a sweep against the Flyers (yes, that would be the same Flyers team that pulled off the historic comeback against them in 2010), another 7-game series win against a Lightning squad -- which not only turned out to be Vincent Lecavalier and Martin St. Louis' last deep run with the team, but also featured a young Steven Stamkos -- and, of course, the famous victory over the Canucks that sparked the Vancouver riots.

However, in retrospect, UrinatingTree may have been spot on when he said that the Bruins' victory may have been because the Canucks out-choked them. Sure, the Bruins have had several great moments that include subsequent Cup Finals appearances and repeatedly making a meme out of the Toronto Maple Leafs (including the famous 4-1 comeback!) But since that 2011 victory, they haven’t gotten another taste of champagne from the Stanley Cup. And in addition, they’ve suffered multiple playoff chokes since then! The Joel Ward OT Game 7 in 2012, the collapse in Game 6 of the 2013 Cup Finals, losing a Game 7 at home to the Canadiens in 2014 after a Presidents' Trophy-winning season (foreshadowing much?), Marchand getting his licks in, and another home Game 7 loss in the 2019 Finals.

Yeah, those are all bad. But blowing a 3-1 lead to a Florida Panthers team that came off an average season and has nowhere near as much star power as the Bruins? Yeah, that’s not only pretty embarrassing, but it may be the mother of all playoff chokes.

Let me further emphasize this: you wasted a 60-goal season from Pastrnak, an incredible goalie tandem with Ullmark having a shot at the Vezina, the possible last ride of David Krejci and Patrice Bergeron (the former is contemplating going overseas, while the latter is a man who not only has a father that is battling cancer, but he played the entire playoffs with a herniated disc!) and 65 REGULAR SEASON WINS COUPLED WITH 135 POINTS!!!! And not only did they squander a 3-1 series lead in the first round to a team that not only struggled just to get there but earned 43 FEWER POINTS! They also lost three home games in this series!! Oh, and better yet, if you’ve paid attention, it seems I’ve proven that unless it’s a playoff series against the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Bruins are just simply allergic to Game 7s at home. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Orlov and Hathaway trade made at the deadline. This should’ve been the deal that hands down made the Bruins invincible! Once again, all that talent and somehow they’ve found ways to fail year after year since I graduated from middle school. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

Then again, you know what? I can’t say I feel sorry for them. After all, I call it karma! And before you call me a hater, these are things that must be considered. I have to wonder if the Bruins were winning all those games despite Head Coach Jim Montgomery and not because of him. After all, Bruce Cassidy was the Head Coach just one year ago, and since he received his pink slip, he won a playoff series with his current team -- the Vegas Golden Knights, while the super team he left found a way to embarrass themselves. Could this be karma for the fact that he got fired while the Celtics were in the Finals? (It should also be noted that the boys' club of Don Sweeney and Cam Neely fired the previous coach, Claude Julien, in 2017 on the same day the Patriots were in the midst of their fifth duck boat parade. I’d say this is a coincidence until I remember that the previous GM Peter Chiarelli got fired on the day of Aaron Hernandez’s murder trial. Not to say those were undeserved firings given the circumstances, but still, it sounds like spineless ownership if you ask me!)

But wait there’s more!! Remember when the Bruins tried to sign Mitch Miller? I mean, look, I’m all about giving people second chances due to dumb mistakes. Except that Miller never exactly showed remorse and accountability in his reprehensible bullying and racist attitude he displayed towards a classmate for several years when he was a child. And while the Boston "Boys' Club" tried playing ignorance, all it did was make themselves look foolish. Again, if any karma came from this, I’d like to think this epic failure was a result!

So what have we learned from all this? Well, if we’re looking at the grand scheme, I think we can say that much like with the 1990s Atlanta Braves. If you're going to acknowledge that the Bruins' 15 years were a success, I have no issue with it. After all, winning a Cup is difficult in and of itself. Not to mention if the 2011 run doesn’t happen, the Cup drought would be a half-century old (we Rangers fans know a thing or two about that).

But the litany of playoff failures also needs to be acknowledged. And having said that, there’s no way around it this season may have been the greatest single-season failure in NHL history. And, of course, last but certainly not least, KARMA IS A BITCH!!!!